For me, it was hard to come to to terms with…because I thought there was nothing to come to terms with. I was in this cycle of self-harm for years, thinking I was simply doing this roller coaster thing of succeeding and failing (back and forth) at losing weight and feeling good about myself. I was also struggling with some life decisions I had taken that I thought were the wrong decisions and would give me no certain future. Regret, fear, anxiety, guilt, self-deprecation became my normal. It was only when my soul fell into this deep, dark pit of hopelessness and dislike of myself and my life, that I realized something was wrong.
This couldn’t be. What had become of my life? What had become of who I was? Of my motivations? What was happening? Someone, help. God, please help me. I couldn’t deny it any longer. If I wanted to survive, I had to do something. If I wanted to live, I had to take that first step.
It has been ten years since I started therapy, and those ten years have been full of SO much that makes up my story of learning to live with mental illness. I will most likely be in counseling and on medication for the rest of my life, but I don’t care. I accepted I needed some type of intervention and medical care, and I decided to start managing my mental illness just as anyone else would manage their physical health.
I took that first step. That uncertain, fearful, Pandora’s box of a first step into recovery…and I am glad I did. That first step led me to a place of so many other first steps in my life…the many firsts we can experience throughout our lifetimes…first step in a new country, a new state, a new trail or mountaintop, first step in that place you’ve always wanted to visit or first step doing something you’ve dreamed of doing…that first step as a mom, as a wife, as a new friend…that first step of trying a new hobby or a new recipe …and so many other “firsts.” That first step was the beginning of my life.
I encourage you to take that first step, whatever it is you’re going through. It is difficult, I know, because asking for and receiving help just brings our vulnerability to the forefront. But it can be the beginning of a fuller, more satisfying life, or the beginning of a new life!
Sometimes the best step you can take is the first one.
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Where to start. It's hard to accept that you need help, whether it's with an eating disorder, substance abuse or addiction, or any other mental illness. • • • For me, it was hard to come to terms with…because I thought there was nothing to come to terms with. But I couldn't deny it any longer. If I wanted to live, I had to take that first step. My next blog post is on this…taking that first step. It led me to a place where I could take so many other first steps of life's "firsts"! It is the first post on my website, which you can access by going to my IG profile. It's titled, "the first step is the best step." • • • What are some of your "firsts" after choosing to manage your mental health? What were some of the "firsts" you were able to experience after getting help? Had your life ended, what were some of life's "firsts" you would not have experienced? • • • #firststep #firststeptowardsabrighterfuture #receivehelp #accept #denial #depressionquotes #depressionsupport #eatingdisorderrecovery #substanceabuse #addiction #recovery #depression #bulimia #beststep #mentalillness #addictionrecovery #mentalhealthjourney #therapy #intervention #choosetolive #suicideprevention #tomorrowneedsyou #first #firsts #firstofmany #life #mentalhealth
What are some of your “firsts” after choosing to manage your mental health? What were some of the “firsts” you were able to experience after getting help? Had your life ended, what were some of life’s “firsts” you would not have experienced?